


Star Burst

by dancingkenma



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, M/M, Terminal Illnesses, kenhina - Freeform, kenma needs to love himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 20:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8223076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingkenma/pseuds/dancingkenma
Summary: ~Kenma knows that he is dying and decides to live life to the fullest~





	

Kenma knew he was dying. He knew as soon as he saw that look in his doctor's eyes. He knew when he saw tears in his mother's eyes. This may have been devastating to most people but to Kenma this was just life. You're born, you survive for a unknown amount of months or years and then you die. Slowly the people around you die too. Soon everyone you ever knew die. Then there's nothing to ever prove or show that you ever existed on this planet. There's no one to tell who you fell in love with or the things that you accomplished. So why does it matter if you get 16 years or 100?

~10 years before~

Kenma lay on his back in the grass in the backyard of his childhood home. His father lay beside him. "Star light, star bright first star I see tonight!" Kenma giggled as he recited this for every star he saw in the sky above him. The universe was in his eyes and stamped on his heart. His father asked him why he said that for each star. "Because I can't show favoritism!" "Papa why is that star brighter than the others?". His father looked down in to Kenma's golden eyes and pulled him into his lap. "Well sometimes when a star is about to die, it shines bright to live it's life to the fullest. So when it burns out, it leaves its mark forever on the universe." Kenma's father had burnt out two years later. A bad path of drugs and late nights spent drinking led him to his fate. He died in a car crash. Drunk. Kenma had realized then the cruelty of the world. His father didn't get to shine bright before he burnt out. Stupid cruel world. 

~Back to Present~

 It wasn't that Kenma was too utterly depressed that he was dying. It was just the look he saw in his mothers eyes. No one cared for him anyway except for his mother. When he saw those tears that poured from her eyes, the years of built up pain, he realized I've got to shine for her before I go. It can't be easy for one person to handle the grief of losing their husband and their son. "I've got to dance with the wind, grasp the hands of the ocean, see every star in every universe and shine brighter than I thought I ever could" he thought. Because they didn't have the money to travel to every continent or some generic death wish like that, he made a list.

1\. Smile every chance you get.

2\. Go to nationals in volleyball.

3\. Confess feelings to Shouyou.

He could not think of anything more terrifying than smiling at random people, getting tired all the time and falling in love. But if this was living and shining so bright that the sun will compete, then fine. He thought. Fine. "I'll leave my mark on the people that I leave behind"

The first item on the list did not go as planned. At volleyball practice, when Lev had something stupid. Kenma laughed. He laughed a glorious laugh that was so rare an occasion, it may as well have been the northern lights! The whole team stared in awkward complete until Lev spoke "Kenmaaaaa what is that face you're making? Make it stop!". Kuroo looked confused then said "Are you okay? You seem off today". Kenma only sighed because god, why does he even bother? He tried to shine and no one even noticed.

The second item was sadly only a dream and it would stay that way. He would not have the strength to play volleyball by the time of nationals. He may not even live to see them. He can only hope that his team will be okay after losing their main setter.

The third item was the worst of all for him. Kenma had called his crush, Hinata Shouyou on the phone. "Shouyou, I know that this is hard for you but I need you to be quiet and listen for just a minute okay?" He heard a sound of agreement on the other line. "This is going to sound really dumb but... I have sort of had feelings for you for a long time and it started out with watching you play volleyball, I don't know why i feel these things but i do. ugh. please don't hate me." Shouyou sighed on the other line. "umm. Kenma I.." This was enough response for Kenma and he quickly ended the call. Why does he even bother?

A few months later at practice, Kenma collapsed. He had given up shining. 

So Kenma lay in a hospital bed with stars in his eyes and stamped on his heart. He was surrounded by his team, Shouyou and his mother. The room was filled with unsaid things and sobs. Hinata sobbed for Kenma saying "I liked you too, I liked you too". His team missed his smile and wished they'd seen more of them. 

So as Kenma closed his eyes for the very last time hearing the cries around him. He thought "I just burnt out". 

The machine beeped next to Kenma beeped signaled the loss of a life.

His mother sighed and in between cries she whispered "He shined so bright."


End file.
